Work

I started working at a cute little restaurant called Johnny Rockets. That place has given me a lot to think about. These thoughts are chronologically ordered. (kind of)

1. I don't make a very good server. Serving goes against everything I am. Serving requires someone who is upbeat, talkative, speedy, and confident. I, on the other hand, am semi-shy, quiet, pessimistic, and I like to work slow and steady. As I said not a good match.

2. What am I really? Who I am has been brought about by my environment. I am merely a collection of experiences. None of which were ever really my choice. But we as humans have the ability to choose, don't we? When were my choices really my choices?

3. What's right in this situation... The chain of command at johnny rockets is as follows:

owner

some of the owners area managers
store manager
superviser
me

johnny rockets is a franchise. and as such it has rules. however, these rules are flexible because in theory they are perfect but in practice they don't work. Unfortunately this has the supervisors, and managers telling me to do different actions to solve the same problem. Example: supervisors tell me to give customer free frys if food takes to long. manager says "no free food ever unless you talk to me." unfortunately the manager is hardly available.
to whom should I listen keeping in mind that if I don't listen to both I could easily find myself searching for a new job.

4. After leaving work one day... "Is this all life is about?" go to work, get money. go home, save half, spend the rest. While I was growing up the working world was always a great mystery. now that i'm in it I have realized that work actually isn't all that mysterious.

5. I try hard to respect my supervisors. but one of them, supposedly, left early, showed up drunk that very night. and was passed out at a hospital and therefore couldn't be at work the next day. this same supervisor expects almost perfection from her subordinates. It's very hard for me to respect such a person.

6. one of the bussers constantly complains that i'm depressed. I don't think i'm depressed. maybe i'm in denial. most of my thoughts are pretty negative. oh well.

It's not that I dislike where I work. On the contrary, it's all i could ask for. My supervisors really are nice people. it pays well. the people who work there are fun. It's just that maybe it's not for me. and there is no way i am going to be a server/waiter for the rest of my life.