I've been in a rebellious rut. Whenever I get told to do something i feel this little twinge in my chest. NO! You can't make me! This has even more so been happening when i am told not to do something. I just want to anyway. This attitude taxes my emotions, a lot. it's weird.
for example i get told not to drive fast. In my mind:
you know what?! i'm going to speed and there's not a thing in the world that can stop me.
then superior logic kicks in: well i suppose i shouldn't speed, i can't afford the ticket.
but that logic doesn't kill the evil thoughts. it just imprisons them. a bunch of evil thoughts and temptations are locked in small corner of my mind. they want out. the only thing holding them in there is God, and (in comparison) a small amount of will power. It's just that this constant battling and containing of thoughts in my mind is slowly wearing me down. hopefully this will be over soon.
1 comment:
well man, if you find out how let me know. when i am in rotc i don't really have those feelings, its when i around a group of people who encourge me to think for myself is when i get those rebel thoughts.
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